Movies on my mind 2

My family were there.  We were driving along the beach.  It was beautiful.  I felt the wind that came from outside of the open window.  It was the last trip with my entire family before I go back to the States.

I was somewhere looking like a campus of a university.  Very dark outside.  I was walking in the open space.  There was a stone monument in the center.  I was walking towards it.  I passed the monument.  Someone told me that there was a invisible line on which the stone was built.  He told me that I need to come back on his side, because demons will appear in a few second on the side where I am standing.  I listened to him, then demons appeared.

I was in a big house, looking for a guy called Adam.  I asked the housekeeper where he is.  She said he will be back soon.  I was also looking for a flowers I made.  I was trying to give them to someone.  While waiting on Adam, some guy talked to me.  He said he had a dream of me and the god walking togather.  He said it as if he couldn't wait for saying that to me.  I saw a white van outside of the window.  Adam is now here.

That's the end of the movie on my mind.

Movies in my mind

I was walking o this road with my special friend.  Sunny beautiful day.  It was like a farmer's market.  But, instead of selling vegetables and flowers, they were selling bread.  The road was packed.  I enjoyed it.

Someone was showing me that he was interested in me.  He could see me only outside, not my heart.  Then I was looking at a mirror.  There were tears in my eyes.  My eyes were red.

I was with some people.  We were hiding on the coner of the street in a big city.  We saw a huge dinasour.  The entire city was paniced.  There were a huge person who was riding a motor bycycle.  He was as big as the dinasour.  I run and crossed the road  annd hided on the other coner.  There was a girl who I never seen.  She talked to me.  Sje told me I am special and I have to find the "key" to help the world.

Dreams are strange. 

Good

Good always wins.
I was in the darkness.
Now I see the light of hope.

Thunder Storm

I made a mistake.
I was emotionally weak.
As soon as I went outside, it started raining ..... very hard.
Thunder storm came.
An hour later, it was gone.

Later, I made another mistake and I was miserable.
I cried so hard as another thunder storm came.

I feel like they are feeling my emotions.

People

People look at me like I am from some other world..... as if I am alian or something.
They bow.
They ask me for signiture.
What's going on in this world?
Or is something going in me?
I don't know.
The world is just so interesting to me.

Forgiveness

I was desperate and not thinking right.
I was curious.
They were curious.
Then, it happened.
It was too fast.
It happened too fast.
Later, I felt guilty for letting them get close to me.
I should have stopped them to approch me.
It happened way too fast.
I was emotionally too weak not to let it happen.
I asked innocence in me for forgiveness.
Innocence in me asked me to do what I should do.
I did.
I made another mistake.
I was to desperate to think right.
I asked them for forgiveness.
I hope they will forgive me.

Eagle

There is an eagle flying above the soulless field. He is weakened. His wings are torn. His leg is chined to the iron cage, forcing him to fly up and down, with the agony of broken soul. Yet, he keeps flying till he finds peace. He cried strongly but hopelessly, with a drop of tear in his eye. He is the most beautiful eagle in this world.



Never let go of hope.

The World

This world is very interesting to me.  People are interesting.  At the same time, this world makes me sad.  People make me sad ....................

Why was I born?  Why did I come to this world?  On what purpose?  Tell me.

Unexpectation

Wow.  That was unexpecting.  It surprised me a lot.  I saw the real world. It was like wildlife: live or die. No mercy existed. They would do anything to get whatever they want. You have to be smart enough to survive but patient enough to get it. It was overwhelming but beautiful at the same time.

People's beauty......  I didn't expect that.  They must have wanted it so bad ...... To them, their "friends" become ememies when they want what they want.

It scared me but it was so beautiful.

Difference

You just gotta accept that everyone is different.
Life will be much more fun and enjoyable.

Realization

What you realize about people is what you do to people.
How much you realize about people is how much you feel about people.

Remember. 
If you want them to be nice to you, you want to be nice to them.
If you want them to be patient with you, you want to be patient with you.
It must be mutual.

She

"She's not too sensitive, she is just sensitive."
"She is not too nice, she is just nice."

"She is not selfish.  She is just pretending to be selfish to let them know that what they feel when they have to deal with someone who's selfish.  She doesn't always do this, she only does this when they didn't realize anything even after she tried to let them realize.  and she does it only to people who are eager to realize."

"She is just being who she is.  Don't let her change."

Strength

I'd face the fear and fight against it till either I am beaten up or I beat it up, rather than just running away from it and keep worrying about when I will get caught up by the fear................. I must survive, holding onto my self-identity.

Always stay strong.

A baby

They were talking.
They were asked how old the baby in her stoach was.
She said about 4 months.
He also said about 4 months, looking into her eyes.
I was attracted by the way he looked into her eyes.
It was a beautiful moment.

Tangible

People tend to focus on something tangible more than something intangible.  I am not saying this is right or wrong.  I am just saying what I see in everyday life.

Example:
When talking about somebody to a friend who's never met the person.
"She's tall." instead of "She's nice."
"He's big." instead of "He's nice"
"She's cute." instead of "She's nice."
"He's hot." instead of "He's nice."

When talking about people, I always want to know about their characteristics rather than how they look.  I am very sensitive to small things like this.

What to do what to do ..............

Rain

I was struggling in my room, trying to face the fact which I did not want to accept.
It started raining.

I was devastated at some restaurant, trying to accept the difference between people.
It started raining hard.

I was facing to a problem of the weekness of a person which made me full of sadness.
It started raining hard with thunder.

I was suffering from the difference between people and myself in an amuzement park.
It started raining hard enough that the place was closed for a day.

No one knows how much feeling I have to a particuler thing, but they seems to know it.
Let's make them all coincidence.

Puzzle

I feel strong but week at the same time.  When I feel like my humbleness is wasted, that's when I feel weak.  When I feel like my humbleness is ignored, I feel strong.

I am a human being.  I do have emotions.  I cannot always control my emotions.  I sometime want to let them deal with my emotions, but I must stay strong so I don't even have to doubt if they can deal with my emotions.

Is this wrong?  Am I afraid to trust them too much?

Ego ..... could become too strong, and that's when humbleness is either wasted or ignored.  I want to be strong enough to feel that my humbleness is ignored rather than wasted.

I should focus on being more humble, maybe.

This is like a puzzle.

Love

I have recieved so much love.

So much that I cannot hold them anymore. 

My heart is full of love.

"A child who loves everyone and who is loved by everyone.  That's what your name means."

Beauty

What is beauty?  Everything and everyone has beauty in them.  I belive I have my own beauty.  The beauty inside me is growing more and more each day, I feel.  Especially these days, I feel that I am stepping into a new world.  The door that leads to the world is about to open with the key of the beauty.  I feel like something new is about to start in my life.  The beauty inside of me is expanding more and more to reach the point where something big can be achieved .......... finally.  "Something big" ..... something that I wanted to do for ages.  Finally, the time is coming.  I am about to start it very soon, using the beauty inside me.

But later .....

Not yet but later I will recieve it. 

It's not the time yet but later it will be. 

It may come sooner than I think.

I feel it's coming soon...... yes I feel it.

Something big is about to happen.

I ..........

I live fully now.
I try my bestest now.

Don't be afraid of what's going to happen next.

Don't be caught by the future.

Live fully now.

Is it .......... ?

Is it coincidence?  Have you ever experienced something too good to be true?  You want to think it as coincidence because it's too good to believe, but something inside you is saying that it was meant to happen.  It was not a coincidence but was on purpose and something planned.  I sometimes cannot help thinking like that.

I feel like ......

I feel like I am a lion in a cage, waiting on the chance to go outside, back to the wild.  Or I feel like I'm like a solder at war, who's about to fight.  I have so much energy kept for a long time ..... The energy will be released very soon.  I am so ready to use the entire energy I have saved up and kept for ages.  I will use the power for everything I wanted to use for ...... to achieve something huge, powerful, yet peaceful.  Then I will expand goodness within us all.

My life

I live strong.

Whatever happens to me, I live strong.

In the end,  there will be peace.

I feel .......

I feel something powerful from a far distance.  Something good but very powerful.  What is this?  It's like they want to reach me, but they are waiting for me to reach them first.  They are so powerful that it almost scares me.  If I try to seek them, I think they will response to me.  They are waiting for me to reach them.

I want to be ......

I want to be like a flower.  I am now looking at these beautiful orange flowers blooming outside a window.  They are looking at the sun peacefully.  How can they be so beautiful?  Their beauty is so attractive.  It's interesting.  Floweres are just there.  They don't talk, nor listen.  But people are attracted by them.  People take care of them ..... so the flowers remain beautiful.  I want to be like the flower, which lets others experience a moment of peace.

I realized that ..........

I realized that something is missing from me, which is what I used to have before I came here, the U.S. 4 years ago.  There is an eagle and dolphin inside me.  Before coming to the U.S, the dolphin was occupying more of me than the eagle was.  Now, eagle is occupying more than dolphin is.  The eagle in me is too powerful, I feel.  I have to ask the eagle not to stand out that much, so the elegance of the dolphine can stand out a little bit more.